I found some interesting information about the bipedal humanoid species inhabiting this planet, (that would be us), so I thought I would share my findings on a one of the more intriguing subjects.

For instance, the statistics on sanity state that one out of every four persons is suffering from some form of mental illness.

That’s a very bold statement, and it would suggest that 1,704,225,000 of our fellow humanoid bipeds are suffering in this way! So how can we be sure that we are not the one out of four who are nuts?

Well one technique to keep in check would be to think about your three closest friends, or family members, if they seem okay, then you know it’s you!  Heh-heh!

Don’t fret if you find that it is you who is “out to lunch” though; this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Like I’ve said before, if everybody was n-n-n-normal, this would be a very boring world!

In fact if you use this technique often, you will see that everybody gets a turn at being “one fry short of a Happy Meal”.  Sometimes it’ll be your turn; it happens… it’s okay!

Look, by the using the statistics above, your gonna go bonkers at least 90 days out of the year anyways so why not make the best of it?

The problem is that most people try to hide the fact that they have a screw loose, or feel they’re going off the deep end; you need to let the others know that it’s just your turn, that way they won’t worry too much about you being “two cans short of a six pack” for a while.

If you find that one of your friends are hording the crazies time slot, you could help them by being odd or slightly crazy on purpose.  This can actually shorten the time span that they spend being a nut job.

You could have some fun with this, like go into a department store with this cake-head friend, find your way to a fitting room, go in, shut the door and wait a while; then, yell, very loudly, “THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!”

This will let your friend know that it is in fact your turn to be the psycho- whack job and they can relax for a while.

To reinforce this technique, while being escorted from the store by the security personnel, start yelling to everyone on the way out; “LICK YOUR ELBOW… you, lady, LICK YOUR ELBOW!”

This will have a twofold effect.  One is if the shear embarrassment of being with you doesn’t shake them out of it, then watching all those people trying to lick their elbows should do the trick!

The bottom line is don’t get stuck trying to analyze why you don’t have “all your oars in the water”, that’s like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.  Instead embrace being a freak when it’s your turn, you don’t have to spaz out and be a complete lunatic, just relax and go with the flow.

If you haven’t guessed by now I live in my own little world. But it’s OK… they know me here!

By the way it is impossible to lick your elbow, but at least 75% of people who read this will try!

~Snarp
www.foggyblogg.com

Thinking is something we do about 70,000 times a day, (so we’re told), and thoughts travel at the rate of… well there seems to be a controversy over how fast our thoughts travel. Let’s investigate, shall we?

The PHDuds, (that’s a PHD that can’t think outside the box); say nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. Then they go into great detail how the brain processes thought, making the assumption that thoughts are biologically based.

The PHDudes, (that’s a PHD that CAN think outside the box… sometimes); say thoughts CAN travel faster than the speed of light. Then they go into great detail how the sun takes 8.6 seconds to reach the earth but we can think of the sunlight reaching the earth in a fraction of a second, so thoughts are faster.

The PHDuds hammer at the PHDudes logic until the PHDude just climbs back into the box and concedes defeat. PUSSYS!

Here’s some Snarp Logic on this whole thing. You can take a nerve cell out of a man’s brain and put it in my hand, and please don’t, but you cannot take a thought out of a man’s brain and put it in my hand.

The brain is just a vessel that collects the thought and determines how to process it. The brain’s processing procedure of the thought is not the thought, the thought came first!

Sooooo… thoughts are not biological, and cannot be compared using the same logic as used in the measurement of the speed of light… PERIOD!

Now all you PHDuds and PHDudes can just climb back into your little box, and here’s some duct tape, let me just seal that thing up for you!

And while you’re in there think about this; the words moron, imbecile, and idiot are not interchangeable. However the one with the highest level of intelligence is a moron, followed, by an imbecile, and then an idiot, take your pick!

Sheesh… and these are the kind of guys that are teaching our youth? God help us!

As you may be able to tell this is a pet peeve of mine. I like thinking, and no matter how hard I might try I cannot stop thinking, and neither can you! We even think in our sleep!

So in order to be able to say to someone… “I have a thought!” would mean that you somehow managed to reach in to that collection of 70,000 ”+” thoughts, moving FASTER than the speed of light, and picked one out!

I have a hard time picking out something to wear when I go out… it could take hours! But if I have a thought then that means…
I’m a friggen genius! Woohoo!

Here’s some more Snarp Logic for you.
You cannot think that you are thinking!
If you think that you are thinking, you really only think that you’re thinking!

And you cannot know that you are thinking about thinking, because if you think you know that you are thinking about thinking, aren’t you really just thinking you know that you are thinking about thinking?

See, that just goes to show you, it’s never too late to learn something stupid, and if stupidity got us into this mess…
Well then why can’t it get us out?

~Snarp
www.foggyblogg.com