What the… ? damn it I fell asleep again trying to write this article?  That’s at least 7 times now and it’s getting a little tiring being tired while trying to write about being tired of being tired!  There’s like a virus or something going around this winter that makes you sleepy like all the time!

It’s true I can fall asleep anywhere and at any given time… and do so more times than I care to count.  People tell me I must have “Narcolepsy”.  Well I’m not so sure about that, maybe ‘Snarpolepsy’ would be a better term for me!

I fell asleep last week on the toilet, woke up with dried crappy buns and my leg had fallen asleep from my hip clear down to my toes!  Well as you can imagine trying to clean up ‘dried poo buns’ is no easy chore, and without having any feelings in one bun, when trying to rock over onto that bun to gain cleaning access I just about fell off the damn toilet!

That’s when I got this great ideal to stand up, wet some toilet paper at the sink in an attempt to get the dried mud like substance off my buns before chafing could occur!  I really hate chafing, chafing is bad!

So have you ever had to stand with one numb leg, hanging on to the sink while trying to get some toilet paper wet, clean up dried poo from your buns, with your pants around your ankles and not fall down?

Quite a challenge I must admit, and not something I care to repeat in the near future that’s for sure!

I also fell asleep during a party at Dude’s house last night.  These punk kids got me all gooned up on ‘Snarp Water’, which is Rumpleminze and Firewater Whiskey on the rocks, so when I felt a nap coming on I just pointed to a spot on the floor and said, “I’m gonna lay down right there, right now!”, then did just that!

But that really doesn’t fit the whole Snarpolepsy profile because I was under the influence of ‘Snarp Water’ at the time, that stuff will put an elephant down!

I have fallen asleep while driving on the freeway when I worked a 7 day swing shift and had to drive an hour to get home from work though.  You wake up when you hear the ‘B-R-R-R-R-R-P’ of the rumble strip. It’s like “What the… AHHHHHHHHH”, swerving back into the lane! Then wait 5 minutes and repeat.  Sheesh that was friggen miserable.

I’ve fallen asleep at bars, schools, churches, meetings, during conversations, and driving, but never underwater and never on a motorcycle and only once during sex… uh… what can I say, hope it was as good for her as it was for me!

All this being tired crap is getting boring, which is making me tired of thinking about being tired and tired of trying to write about being tired of being tired!

I’m glad there’s not a law that limits the amount of ignorance one is allowed to expel in a single lifetime, or else I’d be in a lot of trouble!

Okay… nap time!

~ Snarp

www.snarparkle.com