Are You Alien-ated?

[1]

I’ve been watching people go through some pretty intense mood swings lately and so decided to look into what may be the cause.  There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by strategically placed small amounts of cranial high explosives.  But who can afford those?

That would be a quicker solution but too messy!  I came across something that may clarify why these intense mood swings are leaving estranged people laying all over the place… bizarre as it may sound… they’ve been eaten and replaced by  MENTALLY CHALLENGED SPACE ALIEN CANNIBALS!

THEY’VE BEEN ALIEN-ATED!

This would explain everything!

You, your neighbor, wife, kids or husband may have been eaten and replaced by a mentally challenged space alien!  So how do you know if you, your neighbor, wife, kids or husband has become a feast for a mentally challenged space alien cannibal?

To Identify Mentally Challenged Space Alien Cannibals look for these ten signs…

1. Weird or mismatched clothes. “Often mentally challenged space aliens don’t fully understand the different styles, so they wear combinations that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped shirt or a tuxedo jacket with just sneakers,” noted Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.

Uh-oh… This makes sense, my granddaughter dresses funny and a coworker was wearing one lime green sock and one hot pink sock yesterday!

2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Mentally challenged space aliens might try to eat french fries with a spoon or down large amounts of alcohol or pills, the experts say.  Hmmm…

3. Bizarre sense of humor. Mentally challenged space aliens who don’t understand earthly humor may laugh during a serious company training film or tell jokes that no one understands, said Steiger.

Uh-oh…

4. Mentally challenged space aliens take frequent sick days. A mentally challenged space alien might need extra time off to “rejuvenate its energy,” said Dr. Thomas Easton, a theoretical biologist and futurist.

Uh-oh… Yes I’ve seen this too!

5. Mentally challenged space aliens might keep a hand-written or online diary. “Mentally challenged space aliens continuously gather information,” Steiger said.  Uh-oh… FACE BOOK!

6. Misuses everyday items. “A mentally challenged space alien may use white-out to paint its nails, or brush its teeth with white shoe polish” said Steiger.

Uh-oh… I think my roommate does this!

7. Constant questions about our customs. Mentally challenged space aliens who are trying to learn about our Earth culture may ask questions that seem to be stupid, Dr. Easton said. “For example, a mentally challenged space alien may ask why so many Americans picnic on the Fourth of July, or tie their shoes one at a time” noted Steiger.  Uh-oh…

8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. “A mentally challenged space alien won’t discuss domestic details or talk about what it does at night or on weekends,” said Steiger.  Uh-oh…

9. Frequently talks to himself. “A mentally challenged space alien may not be used to speaking as we do, so a mentally challenged space alien may practice speaking when it thinks it’s alone,” Steiger noted.  Uh-oh…

10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near high-tech hardware. “A mentally challenged space alien may experience a mood change when using a microwave,” said Steiger.

Uh-oh…

The experts pointed out that a person would have to display most of these traits before you can positively identify him or her as a mentally challenged space alien.  Uh-oh… that means…

OMG… I’VE BEEN ALIEN-ATED!

~ Snarp

www.snarparkle.com[2]