Attaboy Murphy!

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Today started out to be a wonderful day…

After my morning ritual ass chewing from my boss, which really is just his way to let me know how much he loves me, I was feeling all full of warmth and love. I mean for him to help start my day off in the right frame of mind like he does he must really, really love me a lot! So devoted he is to spend so much quality time bringing me so much joy every morning. Gosh I am SO lucky!

Despite all the mushy warmth and love at my meeting this morning I was determined to find a solution to a nagging months long problem we were having… okay “I” was having as was so beautifully explained to me.

I decided to forgo my usual duties for the day in favor of eliminating this “Monster Problem”. After all if I could solve this problem I’d earn a “MEGA ATABOY”! Throughout the day I seemed to be achieving great success. “Dufus” and I actually earned two “ATABOYS” for solving a couple of other nagging problems along the way.

Then it happened… EUREKA! I finally found the source of the “Monster Problem” and promptly put Dufus to work and within an hour… BAM!… problem solved! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy we’ve earned the MEGA ATABOY!

Tomorrow morning my boss will be speechless, morning ritual ass chewing’s were no place for receiving ATABOYS yet alone MEGA ATABOYS so he’ll have nothing to say!

“WHOOPEEE” shouted Dufus as he started dancing the jig and singing… “WE’VE EARNED THE MEGA, MEGA MEGA MEGA, WE’VE EARNED THE MEGA, MEGA ATABOY!” There’s a reason we call him Dufus!

I left Dufus singing and dancing in the background to preform the final inspection of our work when I heard a strange noise. “SHHHH, DUFUS QUIET DOWN I HEAR SOMETHING.” He ignored me, of course, as he bathed in his one and only moment of glee for the year.

“DUFUS!” I screamed, “There’s something wrong… something doesn’t sound right… uhhh Dufus?”

Just then the unthinkable happened… the sound of breaking machinery began to drown out the singing Dufus and everything came to a halt. A look of horror came over Dufus as he slumped to the ground like a drunken whore pounding his fists on the ground screaming “NO… OH NO… NO NO NO… IT’S MURPHY’S LAW… MURPHY’S LAW!” and just started crying like a little girl!

“DUFUS!” I yelled, “GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN, WE’VE GOT BIG PROBLEMS!”, but my words fell on deaf ears as it was apparent that he’d been haunted most of his life by Murphy’s Law. Guys like Dufus should never learn to read.

As it turns out by conquering the “Monster Problem” we have just gave birth to the “Biggest Baddest of all Monster Problems” which incidentally shut down production in the whole North East Quadrant of our company. That constitutes one “DUMBASS” which cancels out all ATABOYS!

Murphy’s Law… bah!

I have my own law, Snarp’s Law and it says “If anything did go wrong… it’s not my fault!”

I can already feel the love coming my way tomorrow!

~ Snarp

www.snarpfarkle.com[2]