Why do snippety people say “Give me one good reason why” and then say “That’s not good enough” when you give them one?

I started to believe there really wasn’t such a thing as a good reason!  Have you ever been able to give one and have it accepted?

Well Mr. or Mrs. Snippety, give you one good reason huh?  How about you give ME one good reason why I should give YOU one good reason!

In fact give ME one good reason why I should care that you want one of my good reasons that you’ll just waste anyways you mutilated vain snot gobbler who cook for decomposing sheep and utterly friendless neutered cats!

Snippety people are rude, bad-mannered, uncouth, offensive, vulgar, impolite and they really get under my skin and hey there’s barely enough room in here for me… unless of course you’re a little red headed hottie then by all means climb right on in!

WhooHoo!

By now you’re probably wondering what brought all this on.  Well it’s a very simple recipe; start with several days in a row of very little sleep, with a pinch of very little time to get anything done, a dash of hurry up and wait, a spoonful of “What’s taking you so long” then top it all off with a squeeze of “Gimmie one good reason!”

Ever since the point in mankind’s evolution when he started wiping his ass instead of scooting it across the ground he’s had to deal with rudeness… it’s time to turn the tables Muwahahaha!

Let’s start with the rude cashier; “You are a crap eating unwanted infidel who jumps into the mutilated whimpering mindless booger blister!”

Wow that felt good how about another?  To the ultra sloooow drivers that always end up in front of me; “Why must you be such a loincloth chomping snot loving hamster eater who has delusions about being a mangled fruit basket maggot lover?”

Heh-Heh shall I go on?  Oh yeah…

For the uncouth ‘Blue Hair’ who was insulted by my rusty car; “Get away from me you indecisive annoying prick who is scared of the sweaty noodle brain and the airheaded mumble-newt!”

And for the lady who cut me off the other day on the freeway; “The world is against you because you are a sniveling unwashed bung who dines alongside the flea-bitten nutcase and the lewd mule!”

Hey this is fun!  Who else can I insult?  Ahhh yes to my fat ex-boss; “Everybody thinks you are a decomposing butt kissing platypus who gropes the revolting piglet and the necropheliac fleck of llama spit!”

And to my knuckle smacking third grade teacher; “Thy slobbering craven clapper-clawed strumpet has a large swag-bellied mumble- toad!”

Then for the cop that gave me a DUI; ”You are a revolting butt kissing cheese ball who sniffs the miserable bigot and the moldy sock devouring virus!”

Then there’s my deadline pushy editor…

~ Snarp

www.snarpfarkle.com

Have you ever contemplated the ageless question… why do we exist?  Why are we here on planet earth?  What are we supposed to accomplish here?

We have been inundated over the years with many ancient mysteries such as the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot, Stonehenge, the Mayan Calendar, the great pyramids of Egypt, Stonehenge, Easter Island, Atlantis, cats and women just to mention a few, and there is plenty of evidence that there was an extremely advanced civilization 5,000 years before our history says modern humans even appeared on earth. (more…)

I learned something new from Jimmy The Geek who told me that a guy, we’ll call Carlos, explained that the Spanish way to say Jesus is “Hay-SOOS” and it was derived from the days when the Greeks called out to the god Zeus.  They’d say “Hey Zeus” when they wanted Gods attention!

Now that is purely original, wish I’d thought of that one, Hee-Hee-Hee! (more…)