Enough Already!

Spring is still not here!  Once again I have to iterate that spring is supposed to transform the earth from cold to warm!  It’s still cold… and at the beginning of May!

Instead of earthquakes and tsunamis, we got damn tornados and stinking floods wreaking havoc across our nation!  What… can’t suck us out to sea so good ole Mother Nature has to bring the sea to us?

Enough of the nature crap already!

Speaking of floods there also appears to be this weird downpour of drama going on everywhere.  People all over seem to be all pissy at each other and flipping lips are running wild in the streets!  Uh-oh… Johnny Lapushski doesn’t like the way Billy Jo Poparakkofus drools when she’s eating Cheerios!  Then there’s the he said… she said… crap… WHO CARES?   Sheesh!

Enough of the drama crap already!

Now what’s all this gasoline price crap?  Does anybody really believe that Libya supplies us with so much oil that without their supply we couldn’t sustain ourselves?  Food prices too, I suppose the price of a loaf of bread is somehow affected by Martian dust storms?  Well at least one thing is still more expensive than gasoline… laundry detergent is still in the lead at about $10 a gallon!

Enough of the price gouging crap already!

I read recently that some lady was claiming to still be abstinent after 38 years.  Well lady abstinence at 38 is no longer abstinence, it’s spinsterism!  This leads me to a really important question; do balding men really have more testosterone and thus a higher sex drive?  Well as it turns out, balding men do produce more testosterone and men who lose their testicles before their hair falls out will never go bald!

Hmmm… so does this mean if I cut off my testicles my hair will grow back?

Just wondering…

Enough of the balding crap already!

Sharks and giant man eating fishy type critters being found in fresh water rivers and lakes is a little disturbing too.  There goes Mother Nature screwing around with things again!  Well I suppose it could take such a boring pastime as fishing and make it a little more interesting.  Yeah, instead of worrying about the fish swallowing the bait you better be worried about the fish swallowing you!

Enough of the screwing with nature crap already!

Donald Trump really is thinking of running for president in 2012!  Well we might as well let him in there to shake things up a bit.  He’d fit right in with his comb over hairdo and his hottie little wifeypoo would give us something pleasant to watch while he screws things up some more.  I mean it really doesn’t matter whose elected president anymore, at least he could keep the government from shutting down with some pocket change!

Just saying…

Since millions of people are still out of work the news of Usama bin Laden finally getting wasted makes a nice Mother’s Day present!  Yeah they could cut him up in little pieces and ship them to moms everywhere!  Mom would probably prefer some flowers but hey, times are tuff and we have to improvise!  Just be sure to wash your hands after handling him!

Enough of my crap already!

~ Snarp

www.snarparkle.com[1]