Natural Stupidity!

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Some sexy lady had the nerve to ask me; “Do you believe in computer dating?”  “Hmm…” I thought for a moment then remembered Groucho’s response to this very question.  ”Only if the computers really love each other!”

Well she must have wanted a real answer because she just shook her head, turned and walked away.  “Huh… Good riddance, get a sense of humor weirdo!”

Computer dating? Does anyone still do that?  I thought that was like ancient history by now.  Ugly, Weird, and/or Societal Rejects are the only people who still post on those sites anymore!  Hmm… so what if I fall under most of those categories, I’m not doing it!  Sheesh…

Okay look… if you’re really that hard up and have to try online dating here’s the one question you should ask when approached by any likely candidates;

“What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?  If they don’t respond with; “The taste”, then they’re too stupid for you move on to the next one!

Online, underline, or over-the-line, I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you,  all you can do is stalk them for months and hope they panic and give in!

Look if the definition of insanity is doing the same thing day after day and expecting different results, then you’re nuts if you expect real results from online dating!

What has happened to us?  We used to be a society of intuitive inventive gifted geniuses.  Past generations have invented two wheeled bicycles, electricity, ball-point pens, forks, flushing toilets, light bulbs, flashlights, French maid outfits and toilet paper!

Have we lost our edge? Not me, I’ve had plenty of ideas for inventions, things like:

• The Fart-A-Radicator-9000;

This device will not only blow the offending aroma back to its source, but is also useful for starting campfires and blowing up air mattresses!

• The Rubber-Dubber-Dodgem;

An automobile body made entirely out of high impact foam rubber!  No matter what you run into there’s no damage!  Not to you, your car, or anyone else’s property!  It will even bounce off those pesky drunken trees that like to jump out and play chicken with you!

Then there’s one of my newest ideas I wrote about it in my article “Old… Snarp Style!”

• The Cane From Hell:

This little baby comes equipped with an mp3 player built in, with stereo surround sound!  A cigar lighter, a LED flashlight, an aerosol fart eradicating spray canister, a built in cel-phone,  proximity alerts function, a cattle prod electrically charged tip that shoots bolts of lightning with thunder sound effects, and at the press of a button an angry clowns voice shouting obscenities!

No Geezer should be without one!

So what has our intuitive inventive gifted generation contributed?  Computer Dating?  Oh please, artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity, I should know!

~ Snarp

www.snarpfarkle.com[2]