OOTOLOGY 101!

In my ongoing efforts to shorten the thought process of all thinking hominoids, I’m going to take you deeper… yes deeper into the menacing Cavernous Mind of Snarp Farkle!

You can duct tape your head to keep your brain from exploding if you want. Are you ready?  Don’t be scared, it won’t hurt… much!

Everyone complains that they just don’t have enough time to do the things they like or want to do any more.  There’s always something that gets in the way or takes up their valuable ME time.  Well I have a solution… let’s explore it now.

Well then… as you may recall from my last article, we were discussing OOTs.  An OOT is OneOfThose… whatever! It can be OneOfThose days, moments, people, cars, children, dogs, you name it and it can qualify as an OOT!

By the way… now that you are aware of OOTs you can now have… ‘OneOfThoseOOTs’ or OOTOOTs!  An OOTOOT happens when you have an incident that already pre-qualifies as ‘OneOfThose’ moments, days, people, etc. that you’ve already experienced as an OOT.

Okay stay with me now this is important… I’m really trying to help you shorten your thought process so you can use that brain space to think about more important things… like cleavage, or something else really pleasant!

For an example; if you recall my last article; while on my trip back to Ohio, I had several OOT moments. These moments accumulated into a Double OOT moment, a DOOT, then a Triple OOT moment, a TOOT, and then a Quadruple OOT moment a QuOOT!

Well each OneOfThose pre-experienced OOTs are now cataloged in my cavernous mind and if I have another occurrence of a cataloged OOT… it’s an OOT-OOT, or OO-TOOT however you want to say it!

If it’s an OOTOOT day then its “OOTOOTeD”, or if it’s an OOTOOT moment, “I had an OOTOOTeM”, get it?  Are you following me?

Let’s say ladies that a friend inquires of you about some guy that seems a little weird, all you have to say is “OOTOOTpid” which will tell them that you had to deal with real stupid people before and he’s one of them!  Or you could say, “OOTOOTpeird” if he qualifies as a real stupid weird guy!

See how easy this is?  If you follow these examples you can save a half hour conversation about how; “Yes I met this guy and he started talking about his encounter with alien sex slave traders that hunted him because he had really nice knee caps, then he started to drop his drawers to show me!”

THAT is stupid AND weird… “OOTOOTpeird”!

You see not only did you alert your friend about the stupid weird guy, but you saved yourself 29 minutes and 57 seconds that you can use to go get your nails done or get your knee caps and cleavage tanned at a tanning booth, your choice!

Your friend however cannot claim an OOTOOT on this one because she didn’t encounter the stupid weird guy herself, but she does qualify for an OOTpierd if anyone asks her about this guy.

This is OOTOLOGY!  And if you use it several times a day you will have plenty of ME time to do whatever your little heart desires!  Take a vacation, well take a second job first so you can afford the vacation, enjoy life more, you’ve got the time thanks to OOTOLOGY!

~ Snarp

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