Really Out There!

Well I’m trying something new with this article; I’m attempting to write this time with as many distractions as possible and under extreme pressure from Sage the slave driver editor to have it done in two hours!

I’m still in Silver City Iowa helping “Dude” and “Dude Dad” get ready to open their restaurant and lounge, “Austin’s On The Trail”, not “By The Trail” as I named it in the last article.  On the trail, by the trail whatever, it really isn’t “ON” the trail, if it were there’d be bicycles running into it all the time and a lot of people getting hurt!

It is however “BY” the trail, a bicycle trail made from an old railroad line much like the ones we have in Ohio.  But unlike Ohioans these people are serious about their bikes!  Some of them spend thousands of dollars on a friggen bicycle that they ride on these trails going from one town to the other stopping at local bars and restaurants on their 60+ mile trek!

60 miles… are they nuts?  I thought I was really accomplishing something when I rode my bike to the end of my road this summer!  60 miles seems a little excessive to me, and they also dress up in pretty little tights and wear those odd looking bicycle helmets that make you look like something out of the “Aliens” movie!

This could be an interesting way to write though.  Travel around the country, stop in strange little towns, find a small restaurant or bar and just go in and sit down, plop open the laptop and start writing about what I see and experience.  Hmm… I’ll have to think about that a little more.

If you recall in my last article, where I described how I was forced into eating another species testicles in order to not appear rude, I’m happy to report that I have not been approached to partake in any other sex organ eating rituals, however I have been asked if I would try Carp and “gizzards”!

Carp?  Uh no… they stink pretty bad when they’re alive don’t want that in my mouth thank you.  Gizzards???  What the hell are those?  It sounds too much like lizards and I don’t eat them.  Well to my horror I found out that gizzards are part of another animals guts!

Okay… I’m going to have to draw a line… and it’s going to be in eating other species sexual organs or guts!  I try to be polite whenever possible and to not be rude, and try new things, but there are some things that just don’t belong in Snarp’s mouth or digestive system and sex organs or guts are on the top of the list!

While we’re on the subject, there are also some things that do not belong in Snarp’s mind as well.  “Juster the Jester” tricked me into watching a rather disturbing movie, “The Human Centipede”, under the guise that it was going to be funny!  Uh… I thought I had seen just about all there was to see in life… until now!

DO NOT… I REPEAT… DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FOOLED INTO WATCHING THIS MOVIE!

Anyways besides being tricked into watching this disturbing movie, this has been a rather interesting adventure so far, but you need not worry about me, unless that is that I return to Ohio wearing pretty little tights, wearing an “Aliens” helmet, eating testicles and guts while riding a high tech bipedal controlled vehicle!

~ Snarp

www.snarpfarkle.com[1]