The Root of the Problem!

[1]Well now, for some strange reason I decided to listen to a talk show host on AM radio today. Yeah… I did! I’m not sure what came over me, it just happened, and I am ashamed, and humiliated but somewhat humbled by the experience.

Sort of like this morning at the gas station. I was standing in line waiting to check out. There were a couple of people in front of me and one of them was this red head woman. She wasn’t like a super model or anything but I have this thing for red heads!

Call it a fetish or whatever, they get my attention let’s leave it at that. Anyways while standing in line I was staring at the back of her head trying to see if there were any darker or lighter roots or if indeed she was a real red head. Yeah there’s a difference!

I must have lost track of time because all of a sudden, she’s finished paying, turns and walks out the door, and there I am standing with the lady behind the counter glaring at me! She had been watching me the whole time! With a stern and wryly tone she said “May I HELP you sir?” “Uhh… y-e-a-h… I uh… never mind.” I said. Damn red heads!

Okay… where were we… oh yeah the topic of the talk show was the outcome of Bernard Madoff’s trial. You know the assbag that bilked billions of dollars from naive investors over a twenty year period.

Well I don’t care about such things normally, there were plenty of warnings about the guy, but the talk show host was seeding the callers to get them to say what he wanted them to say.

If they didn’t agree with him, he would humiliate them or conveniently loose the call… as all talk show hosts do.

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to push a button like that, to shut someone up that didn’t agree with you? Like a TV remote!

Whenever some idiot was arguing with you and starting to get the upper hand, you could just push the mute button, and while they were clutching their throats trying to figure out why they couldn’t speak, you get the in last word and win the argument! Brilliant!

Anyways, this guy was trying to get his callers to agree with him that the courts should go after his family as well, take everything they own and put them in jail too.

Well I can agree that they shouldn’t be allowed to keep all that money, but I think a better punishment would be to reduce them to living in the suburbs of Toledo!

Yeah mom and the kids could work at the Schmuckers Restaurant! She could be the cook and the kids could wait tables, mop floors, clean bathrooms and do dishes, just like real people do!

Also dad should be brought out of prison once a month, forced to eat his wife’s cooking and suffer the rotten service his kids will undoubtedly give him!

Then he should be taken outside, tied to a whipping post in front of the restaurant and let all those people he stole from come up one by one and SPANK… HIS… ASS!

YEAH SPANK HIM!… SLAP HIS HINEY!

Ooo that reminds me of another red head, uh… err… ahem… never mind!

~ Snarp

snarp@snarpfarkle.com