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Consciousness, I’ve come to realize, is that annoying time between naps that just keeps getting in the way, but it’s better than being unconscious I guess! Hahaha!
Even though I’m sure there must be some people out there who, after reading some of my articles, would like to be instrumental in putting me in an unconscious state, I prefer to be conscious when I'm awake, especially when I'm ordering food! I can and do drive subconsciously however, you know, when you get to your destination but don’t remember the drive!
NO it doesn’t have anything to do with my age, I have a very deep, cavernous mind and I can drive around in there for hours! Hahaha! The only thing age has to do with driving subconsciously is that the older you get you just don’t care how you got there!
This reminds me of something I read about how age is a very high price to pay for maturity, and I thought it’s a good thing I’m immature most of the time then! Besides the only difference in mature and immature is an asterisk and a space and then it says “I’m-mature”! Hahaha! Of course if you replace the “t” in mature with an “n” then you have “manure” and most mature people I've run across are full of that!
Here’s a thought for you, if you live to be 90, by the time you reach 18, you only have 3,744 weekends left in your life! So if you're 30 then you only have 3,120 weekends left, if you're 40 only 2,600, 50 only 2,080, 60 only 1,560, 70 then you only have 1,040 weekends left, and that’s IF you make it to 90, so why waste them trying to be all grown up and mature?
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There’s plenty of other days in the week to be all grown up and play the mature game if you need to make a living doing it, but doing it 24/7 is a bunch of crap! Speaking of crap, I've been told so many times that I'm full of it, so I’d better unload some of that!
Let’s start out with some Good News!! You have taste receptors in your anus, but they’re not wired to your brain in a way that lets you taste your own poop! Whoohoo!!
Here’s some other crap you didn’t know! Pandas can poop up to 48 pounds per day, constipated women can lose their minds and attack you at any given moment without any warning, dogs poop with their body aligned to the north-south axis positioned along Earth’s magnetic field and cows have best friends and when one poops so does the other!
Hmm… so if you're taking a hike in the woods, be sure to take “Fido” with you, if you get lost just wait for him to poop and you’ll know which way is north! Your pooch will in addition alert you to panda poop mounds or cow friends land mines, he'll sniff them out before you step in one!
Also you probably DO NOT want to take a constipated woman with you on the hike just in case she gets the urge to relieve herself! Even though it would be interesting to see if it can be done, I think experiencing her losing her mind and attacking you could scar you and “Fido” for life!
I'm not kidding!
Just remember, you were conscious right up until the time you started reading my article!
~Snarp www.snarpfarkle.com