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Well the final phase of Hallothanksmas is upon us and I’m going to ‘Call It Like It Is’!
Merry Hallothanksmas Part 3!
While some call it the Christmas season because the kids get two weeks off of school and can be forced to be in plays where the kids hope they get to play the part of a camel instead of the part of an ass because let’s face it… nobody likes an ass!
Mom and dad get to worry about maxing out their credit cards to buy inflatable yard crap and gifts for the kids, who will completely forget about them in a week or two, and hope that they get a big enough tax return to pay it all off! Which of course they don’t and then spend the rest of the year paying on the credit cards until the next Christmas season and then repeat! I fail to see what this hideous tradition has to do with what the season is supposed to be about!
With that said though, I’m going to ‘Call It Like It Is’! Most holiday traditions stem from other sources! Among those traditions that have been adopted for the season such as feasting, gift giving, merrymaking, charity, greenery, lights, and of course enjoying those activities which lead to conception, (my favorite!) originate from ancient Roman paganism! Yule logs and various foods have their origins in ancient German paganism!
From my research, the tradition of hanging Mistletoe in the house dates back to the times of the ancient Druids. It was believed to possess mystical powers which bring good luck to the household and ward off evil spirits. It was also used as a sign of love and fertility in England’s Norse mythology and that's where the custom of kissing under Mistletoe originates from! However there is no mention of the activities which lead to conception while standing under the Mistletoe, which is good because that could get messy, not to mention embarrassing for a lot of people! [/ezcol_1half]
I’m not kidding either!!
Mistletoe is a parasite plant that grows mainly on willow, apple and sometimes oak trees. The name comes from two Anglo Saxon words 'Mistel' (which means dung) and 'tan' (which means) twig! Birds eat the berries and then poop on trees leaving the seeds behind; its seeds are coated in a semen-like substance that allows them to stick to tree branches once pooped out by the birds! So you could translate Mistletoe as...
‘Semen Poop On A Stick'!
Hahaha!!
You can argue all you want about the origins of the holiday season traditions, just with someone else please and thank you! I don’t really care where they came from as long as it’s not shoved down my throat what I should or should not believe in, I’ll win every time! There’s nothing wrong with feasting, gift giving, merrymaking, charity, greenery, lights, and of course enjoying those activities which lead to conception, (still my favorite!), party on!
Whoohoo!
Towards the end of Hallothanksmas Part 3 is also the beginning of the Hanukkah season, they light candles and have feasts to celebrate the triumph of light over darkness because… well nobody really knows why but it has something to do with the winter solstice and all I care about is that this means the beginning of the end of the short days we are subjected to at this time of year, and the days will start to get longer again!
Whoohoo again!!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com