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The best advice I’ve found is that if you eat a live toad in the morning nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day! ~Snarp Farkle
Have you ever been so preoccupied or so hopelessly distracted that you failed inadvertently to retain something in such a manner that it is no longer in your possession and cannot be immediately recovered by you thus leaving you desperately bewildered as to which direction to begin searching or why you feel so ignorant as to where it may have been placed to begin with?
In other words have you ever lost anything?
Okay maybe that’s a stupid question but I’ve been accused of losing a lot of things in my life. Like keys, directions, time, thoughts, bargains, games, women, races, children, hair, hearing, eyesight, watches, balance, virginity, bets, opportunity, arguments, rhythm, fingertips, rings, condoms, money, sleep and even my place in line!
Some may say that I must be a professional loser for losing all this stuff. Well even though that would be a perfect job for me, I do not get paid to lose things. However you may be able to persuade me to lose some things for you! For the right price that is and keep in mind that I’m not cheap!
Of all the things I’ve ever lost over the years, I have never, ever, ever, lost either of these two things… my life or my job!
No really! [/ezcol_1half]
Yet some of you may argue with me that because I have been laid off from work many times in the past that would mean that I have indeed lost my job. NO… No I did NOT lose my job! My idiot boss may have lost it but I knew exactly where it was, I just wasn’t allowed to have it!
I have however lost my mind before and I’m not kidding either! Maybe it’s just a Plutoid thing but losing my mind doesn’t necessarily mean going on a rampage or having a hissy fit, even though I have had both, and at the same time, but lately it just means I can’t think, and since I need to use my mind to find my mind it gets a bit challenging!
Now just because my mind isn’t a physical thing doesn’t make it any easier to find than say… my keys. For instance I have never found my mind in my pocket or on the dyer; however I have found my mind ON other things like an Ulage… which is the empty space between the bottle cap and the beer, and have found it IN things like… “Trouble” as is the case if I lose it in a hissy fit or to get caught being fixated on a sexy redhead’s Tragus… that’s the little lump of flesh in front of the ear canal, very enticing!
Now it’s easier than you might think without a mind to get fixated on sexy redhead’s Tragus, but you can’t just blurt out; “Hey baby… NICE Tragus!” They just don’t get it and will think you’re just another weirdo Crackpot, but since a Crackpot is just a whimsically eccentric person with an unusual or odd personality who’s lost their mind… well okay then and thank you for noticing!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com