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I’ve got the GOOD news and I’ve got the REALLY GOOD news, I’ve got the BAD news, and I’ve got the REALLY BAD news too! Which do you want first?
89.0029375309% of you will say “Gimmie the BAD news first!” 5.49853125% of you will want the REALLY BAD news first! The other 3.49853125% of you who want the REALLY GOOD and the 2.49853125% who want the plain GOOD news first, are just plain goofy! You are probably all non-compliant, non-conforming, irresponsible, disrespectfully lame, and late, always late!
Hey wait… that’s ME! Hahaha!
It’s always a crap shoot when you go to ask someone that question, you just never know who’s going to take the plunge and save the crappy REALLY BAD or just the plain BAD news for last, but I have noticed that it’s usually the ones you’ve have asked a hundred times before, and they’ve always asked for the BAD news first, but not this time… NOOO they’ve got to go and screw with my mind and ask for the GOOD news first so they can blame me for feeling crappy the rest of the day!
Ok, to avoid all that, you’re getting part of the BAD news first so you’ll feel better after you get the GOOD news, and then you’re getting the REALLY BAD news then the rest of the BAD news so that you’ll be ready for the REALLY GOOD news! Trust me… by the time you get to the end of this article you’re going to be glad I did it this way!
I’m not kidding either!! [/ezcol_1half]
The BAD news part one is… 2014 sucked!! It sucked-sucked-sucked-sucked! It was total CRAP and I’m not kidding either! Murphy’s CRAP Law was in full crap force during 2014’s crappy existence, everything that could turn to CRAP DID turn to CRAP and the things that didn’t turn to CRAP have been lost in the ass of time and won’t be remembered 100 years from now anyways!
The GOOD news is… 2014 is done and you will recover from 2014-2015’s hangover! Also it is still acceptable to hang mistletoe on New Year’s Eve and fornicate with whomever you catch by surprise under it!
The REALLY BAD news is… New Years Eve and New Years Day are just that… an eve and a day! There’s no magic elixir in any bottle of champagne or any other alcoholic beverage you choose to partake of on New Year’s Eve, that’s going to save you from taking 2014’s CRAP on into 2015 with you! It’s just an eve and a day, another notch on the calendar!
The BAD news part two is… even though it is acceptable to hang mistletoe on New Year’s Eve; you will still get in trouble if you get drunk and fornicate with someone you caught by surprise under it!
The REALLY GOOD news is… it is still acceptable to hang mistletoe on New Year’s Eve, to get drunk and the fornicate with whoever catches YOU by surprise under it!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com