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~Snarp Farkle
Well now, how can I twist your pretty little minds THIS TIME? Not that I’m implying that your minds are little, that would be rude, and rude people suck, and since I don’t suck, I’m not rude, so I can say your mind isn’t little because it can’t be little if you’ve read this far without hanging up on me, or sticking my article in the bottom of the kitty litter box! AT LEAST save it to start a fire with in the fire place so I can feel like I’ve helped keep you all warm and fuzzy! You see, I want my readers to be comfortable while I gently twist their minds; I want them… want “YOU!” to be comfortable, and calm so get comfortable, stay calm and read on!
Let’s face it; no one reaches for this page because they’re hoping to find my world famous “Lumpy Oatmeal Tomato Soup” recipe! Oh no; you come to this page expecting to be twisted, hoping to be twisted, and know you CAN be twisted! Even if for a just a brief moment… or an hour, depending on how slow you read; you want something to distract you… to help you step out of your busy little world into the unknown… just to get away from the thoughts your day has placed upon your mind… to BE one with the Snarp!
Or maybe you were just hoping to find a coupon for a FREE pair of “Strawberry Flavored Licorice Socks”! Ummm… don’t accept coupons for free pairs of “Strawberry Flavored Licorice Socks” from thrift stores or from yard sales, they may look like licorice[/ezcol_1half]
and smell like licorice, but they will not taste like licorice, because these people must not like licorice and just wore them for a couple weeks, then put them in a thrift store box because everyone knows that you cannot wash “Strawberry Flavored Licorice Socks”!
But if you do wash them, DO NOT put them in the dryer and I’m not kidding either! They’ll just turn into one big sticky rubbery blob, hanging there in the middle of the dryer on giant rubber band like tentacles reaching out in several directions attached to the dryer walls! The rest of your clothes will be embedded into its nuclei, and you’ll see your favorite pair of pre-stained Sesame Street underwear all scared and reaching out to you to save them, but if you try, you will FAIL and then fall to the floor and cry!
“Cry Baby!” Ha-Ha-Ha!
Ok… maybe that was more like being two with the Snarp, but don’t worry I won’t charge you for the extra ride! Hee-Hee-Hee!
Being one with the Snarp is sort of like being in love with a hollow chocolate toad that you are not allowed to eat! Yet you know it’ll taste good if you could just lick it, but toads really creep you out!
Hopefully you’ll get a real hollow chocolate toad for Valentine’s Day and you can lick it not ME!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com