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I was traditionally running about a half hour late as I headed to the park at noon for the family reunion. It was a beautiful day, sun shining, and a nice warm summer breeze, just a very relaxing day.
As I'm driving along a smile started forming as thoughts about the good food that would be there and then a grin formed wondering how many Geezer Cousins I would get to tease or Geezer Aunts to stress test!
The herd is getting pretty thin! I'm all out of Geezer grandparents to tease and all my Geezer uncles are gone too, they were fun to run from! The Geezer uncles would dish out a pretty mean charlie horse that hurt like hell when they did catch us, but we’d still laugh like crazy over the fact that we caught them off guard again heh-heh-heh!
So I pull into the park only to find that no one was there! What the…? I finally show up at a reunion and it’s invisible?
Hmmm…
At first I thought maybe they told me the wrong date, so I scanned my text messages and lo and behold it's not at this park, it’s at another park twelve miles away and not untill two!
So I head over to the correct park and again no one was there because I’m now an hour early! This has got to be the first time in hundreds of years that I have been early or even on time for anything, this a sure sign that Geezerness is kicking in!
Yeah, my body is going to be s-s-s-sixty next week! The hard part is accepting that I will be joining the ranks of… “Geezers In Training”! Hmmm… well this could be fun!
By the way, you’ll be expected to help me across the street when you see me now, but please make sure I really want to cross the street first or you'll have one cranky ole bastard flipping you off!
Hahaha! [/wpcol_1half]
Funny thing is that I don't have to wear Geezer Training Pants for years yet! Pops didn't have to wear them till he was in his eighties, so I'm good for another twenty years... WhooHoo!!!
Hmm... does that mean Geezers never grow up? Got to wear training pants till they die? Well I hope they invent nano-dissolving ones in the next twenty years so that they'll just disappear when full, that way I could just slap another pair on!
Of course one of you out there will be in charge of wiping my ass though, please be gentle! We could have a "Snarp Farkle Ass Wiping Lottery" so that no one feels left out!
Oh yeah, and instead of having a bunch of losing tickets, there will be lots of winning tickets and only one losing ticket! The winners won't have to worry about wiping my wrinkly old ass but the one loser... well sorry about your luck! All proceeds will go to purchasing truck loads of "Geezer Training Pants" because I plan on being real messy hahaha!!!
I could be persuaded to personally autograph any leftover training pants, uh… unused ones that is, to be sold at an auction, that way any of my loyal fans that are going to be turning Geezer can sport one in style!
Since I will officially be a… "Geezer In Training" next week, I decided if I've got to carry the “Geezer” tag then I'm taking advantage of all the perks that go along with it! I will immediately sign up for AARP and get me one of those Ohio Buckeye cards, no more paying full price for THIS guy!
~Snarp