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[ezcol_1half]
This is November, I’m not kidding either! It’s getting hard to tell anymore, but in years past we would be approaching the beginning of the long awaited traditional holiday season. It would seem to always begin a couple weeks before Thanksgiving and end on New Year’s Day, but in case you haven’t noticed… things have changed!
It’s no secret that one of my pet peeves is about the yard crap that starts showing up at the beginning of October in lawns all over the place and the displays in the stores start shoving Christmas crap in my face as early as late September! Hell I've seen pictures of people dressed up for Halloween standing in front of a lit up Christmas tree!
That’s just sick!!!
The really annoying thing for me this year… so far… was on the first day of November at work, I hear the hideous sounds of “Silent Night” and “O Come All Ye Faithfull” being played very loudly over the speakers in the shitter while I was trying to do my bidness!
Just the day before I was being blasted with the hideous sounds of hip-hop-gang-banger music with lyrics about doing drugs, the size of his shlong and killing people! I couldn’t poop fast enough to get out of there!
Ok… really? It’s November for crying out loud not December, do we really have to go there now and be blasted with it until New Year’s Day? Why can’t October be for Halloween and November for Thanksgiving like it’s supposed to be? Hell we already gave you Black Friday for god’s sake! Greedy bastards!
Ok it’s like this, I like raisins and I like walnuts but I don’t like raisins or walnuts in my food, I’ll eat them separately by themselves, just don’t put them in my food is all I ask please and thank you! [/ezcol_1half]
That’s like Christmas music and displays, I like some Christmas music and displays a week or so before and on Christmas but other than that keep your hideous Christmas crap out of my Thanksgiving please and thank you, don’t shove it in my face for four months out of the year!
I really don’t need to be all merry ho-ho or cheery and bright until it’s time to be and that is a week or two before and on Christmas, after that put it back in the attic where it belongs and out of my face!
For those of you who were offended by the above statements, as I've said before how dare you be offended by my offensive offensiveness! It is not my fault if you are offended by my offensive offensiveness, in fact I am offended that you are offensively offended by my offensiveness and you should be ashamed of your offensive self!
Yeah… all that!!
Well Thanksgiving is the only real American holiday, hmmm… maybe there’s conspiracy out there to fuse all the holidays together to make one big holiday thus stretching out the holiday season to suck more cash from our wallets! There’s just no money to be made in being all humble and thankful so the powers that be want to start sucking earlier and earlier each year, from the end of August to New Year’s Day!
This would all be just fine if we got at least October, November and December off as paid holidays! What would we call this super holiday? Hmm… Hallothanksmas!
Merry Friggen Happy Hallothanksmas!
~Snarp