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A shiny hiney is a happy hiney!
~Snarp Farkle
Until my recent experience as a test dummy for hiney exploration, I hadn’t heard the word “Hiney” in about 50 years! Where did this word come from anyways, and who was the first person to get their hiney spanked? I’m pretty sure that hiney is short for “Hind End” but the pronunciation was “hine-dend” when I was a kid and I heard it a lot but combined with words of warning like; “I’m gonna whoop your…”! You see back then even the grownups weren’t allowed to say the word “ass” in public; oh but they wanted to you can believe that!
Spanking the hiney used to be a "proper" form of domestic punishment, now it’s considered an improper form of corporal punishment and is frowned upon, unless of course, you’re in the company of a really hot erotic redhead! The words "get a licking", that my grandmother used a lot, was also a common term to define "getting spanked", as was “got a whipping” but you never said “I got licked or whipped” if you were asked why you were crying, you either said “I got a whipping!” or “I got a licking!”, both were intended to weaken your hiney dignity!
Then there is the tradition of the "birthday spanking", where the birthday hiney would be spanked the same number of the hineys coming age (plus "one to grow on" which no one looked forward too or wanted) and are generally playful [/ezcol_1half]
swats not meant to cause any real pain, just to weaken your hiney dignity; again unless you were in the company of a really hot erotic redhead who just popped out of your birthday cake!
Hineys have their own brain too and I’m not kidding either! Proof of this can be seen in every political candidate’s speeches! You see, political candidates are masters in the art of disguising their hiney's voice to sound like real words, a filthy abuse of hiney dignity! As I become more aware of hiney abuse, because of my own hiney’s dignity being abused, I think the worst hiney abusers would have to be proctologists!
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up but I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t have been an ass doctor! I mean there certainly are a lot of nice hineys out there, but what are the chances of every hiney that walked through that door would be a hiney you’d want in your hands… or face?!
Now you may scoff at my impulsive attempt to support hiney dignity awareness, hiney's have rights too! Hiney Dignity Awareness needs to be brought into the light, let that hiney shine! Shine on hiney, shine on!
A shiny hiney is a happy hiney!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com