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When visiting my Geezer, Pops, we often just sit and watch old black and white movies, mostly because that’s all he can do! He’s in the advanced Geezer stage now at 92, he can’t even scratch or wipe his own ass, and even if he could he wouldn’t know not to scratch it until after he wipes, or to wash his hands afterwards if he did! Oh wait… he can’t even stand at the sink to wash his hands cuz he would just fall down!
Hahaha, poor old Geezer!
The last time I visited him was at lunch time, which I try to avoid, all kinds of disgusting things go on in there at feeding time! There seems to always be some other Geezer that’s going to choke on their food and make sounds from horror movies! “Gasp-n-hack, gasp-n-hack, gurgle-gurgle-gurgle, gasp-n-hack, gurgle-gurgle-gurgle!”, and then Pops will blurt out, “ENOUGH ALREADY!”, and all the other Geezers give me the EVIL EYE STARE OF DEATH as if I was the one who said it!
He’s such a Geezer, Hahaha!
That wonderful gasp-n-hack moment gave me nightmares! I had one the other night of an angry Geezer lady chasing me down driving a monster robot, with a laser gun hand on one side, and a clamp like gadget hand for the other! She was hideously screaming; “I’ll get you, you little imp!”, while snapping the clamp hand open and closed with a “CLANK- CLANK- CLANK” and I was running for my life, screaming like a little girl!
Sheesh! [/ezcol_1half]
All in all it’s still a wonderful life since I’m not a Geezer yet, and I can still scratch my ass and tie my shoes, not to mention I can also wipe my own ass and know not to scratch it until after I wipe! I can pee by myself, and I can still use silverware and feed myself as long as I don’t cook it because burnt food tastes bad… really bad!
I'm not kidding either!
Speaking of a wonderful life, I have a buddy who’s from this area but moved to Florida and he keeps telling me how nice it is there! Don’t you just love those people who keep sending you pictures or putting pictures up on Facebook of themselves, sitting on a beach, shoveling sand, and sipping on a margarita while we’re sitting up here in Winter Wonder Land freezing our asses off, shoveling snow and sipping on Theraflu!
Sheesh, what a wonderful life, Hahaha!
Now we've got water rationing in effect because of ice slush plugging up the water plant’s intake pipes! Yeah they’re asking us not to take showers or flush our toilets when there are no solids in it, AND not wash our cars either! How in the hell can you wash a car when its 20 degrees below zero? You can’t even get the hose out because it would break in pieces from the frigid temperatures!
Oh it’s a wonderful life!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com