Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

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[ezcol_1half]

Columbus Day is coming up which reminded me of my first reaction when I found out that Columbus was NOT the true discoverer of North America!

“Liar liar pants on fire, nose as lonnnng as a telephone wire!” Hahaha!

That’s right kiddies, there were at least two other groups that landed here before this lie of his reported landing, the Vikings set foot on North American soil long before anyone else, there’s evidence that they even made it all the way to southwestern Minnesota in 1355! John Cabot landed in Newfoundland, which is an island close to Canada, in 1498, and now you’re going to say; “But that’s six years after Columbusesses discovery and not on North American soil!”

Well don’t get your panties all in a bunch people, Columbus was so stupid that he actually thought he had landed in India; he didn't even land on North America shores at all, or pee on American soil, he landed on an island in the Bahamas in 1492 instead, but I’m sure he pee’d there! He refused to admit that he was wrong and when he returned to Spain, he told the king and queen that the natives he encountered there were Indians, and the term has stuck to this day!

Then of course there is the evidence that the Chinese may have reached North America in 1421, seventy years before Columbus even sailed! There’s also a long lost story of an Irish monk, who claimed to have found "enchanted lands" far out in the Atlantic around the year 400, and he did so on the back of a giant sea turtle! Hmmm… I've got only one thing to say about that!

“Liar liar pants on fire, nose as lonnnng as a telephone wire!” Hahaha!

So what can we say Columbus did discover in 1492 then? [/ezcol_1half] How about germ warfare! Columbus and his crew have been thought guilty for bringing diseases to the New World that wiped out nearly 90% of the tens of millions of Native Americans! This isn’t a fair assumption though since they never set foot on North America! New evidence does suggest that he and his crew may be responsible for the introduction of sexually transmitted Syphilis to Europe however!

Columbus you dirty dog! Hahaha!

So here you are about to celebrate a day of discovery for a guy who’s stupid ass got lost and never discovered America, who gave the warmongers the idea of using sexually transmitted germ warfare to wipe out millions of people, and the perfected art of compulsive LYING to get a day named after him so federal employees can have another paid holiday!

“Liar liar pants on fire, nose as lonnnng as a telephone wire!” Hahaha!

I don’t like to lie and I have been told that it’s very unnerving that I always tell the truth about everything… Really? I have nothing to hide so I just don’t lie, except to a liar that is, I will lie to liars because that’s their language, it would be rude of me to tell them the truth about everything because then they would think I was lying!

What’s the big deal about admitting that you're wrong anyways, if I’m wrong then I’m wrong, if I try to lie about being wrong then I’m still wrong but times two, and then if I lie that I was lying about being wrong, then I’m still wrong but times three! I could go on and on but I’ll spare you the math!

~Snarp