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“So many minds… so little time!”
~Snarp Farkle
[ezcol_1half]I’ve told this story before but one morning, a couple years ago, something happened that I shall never forget. I sat up in bed all sleepy headed, my tongue felt like it weighed three pounds and kept sticking to the roof of my mouth. My eyelids were so heavy I could barely open them beyond just a slit. I should have just lain back down but no… no there was this all too familiar urge forming in my skull with a beautiful vision of a steaming precious cup of coffee just a few feet away, just a couple minutes more and I could place my lips gently upon it’s rim, taking the first glorious sip I would feel the wonderful liquid of life softly slide over my thickened sticky tongue reviving it’s flesh, giving me that first moment of morning bliss. Yes… yes I must get up!
I then forced myself awkwardly out of bed, my feet shuffling down the hall until I reached the appointed ritual destination. Then I started fumbling around in the kitchen and managed to place a day old cup of so very precious coffee in the microwave. After hearing the “beep” which seemed to echo so softly as if in slow motion, I reach to open the door so I could retrieve the luscious cup of brain enhancement juice, but for some hideous evil reason the microwave door would not open! After blinking my sleep poop caked eyes a couple times in bewilderment, I tried again and again to open the door to get my hands around that lovely vessel of brain cell elixir, but alas… it seemed that all hope was lost.
I watched the steam rising forth from the elixir through the little holes in the protective screen of the microwave door, enticing me to imagine the smell of its magnificent aroma! [/ezcol_1half]But the steam forming on the inside of the door blocked my view of that sacred grail, I turn away, shoulders slumped, a broken man and shuffled towards the coffee maker to try to formulate more of that enchanting substance that enhances my cranial grey matter’s continued existence.
As I gazed upon the now imprisoned cup of cranial joy, overwhelmed with despair tears started to form mixing with the previous night’s eye excrement causing my eyelashes to stick together, and as a result I couldn’t see where I was going and stumbled into the counter top corner bruising my hip! Writhing in pain caused me to turn with a twist and step backward to avoid further damage only to then step on the back of my left slipper, losing my balance, and fall to the floor now bruising my knee, hip and elbow!
As I was falling the glass coffee pot that I thought would save me by grabbing a hold of it, goes flying across the room onto the microwave door breaking into thousands of pieces and I suddenly hear that familiar “tick-clunk” sound, I swear with angel’s song, and then the microwave door magically opened revealing its precious cargo! Rubbing the glue from my eyes, I get up, hobble over through the broken glass to the microwave and grasp the container of this life-force transforming liquid with both hands and begin to sip it oh so gently.
While blissfully savoring the moment I decided it would be prudent to keep a large rubber hammer next to the microwave from there on in!
~Snarp