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[ezcol_1half] On my last visit to my doctor, I couldn’t help noticing the way things have changed in the way doctors and nurses do things now compared to hundreds of years ago when I was a kid. Back then they walked around with clip boards with real paper on them, and would hand write prescriptions and things about your visit on the real paper with a real pen and real ink!

I'm not kidding either!

Of course back then they had to chase me around the doctor’s office screaming like a little girl whenever they said I had to have a shot, something about getting shot that just didn’t set well with me! Umm… they weren’t screaming like a little girl while chasing me, I was! “Oh it’s not going to hurt, you won’t even feel it” is what the nurses ALWAYS say… liar-liar pants on fire nose as lo-o-n-n-n-ng as a telephone wire! Every time I get a shot I do feel it and it does hurt!

Now days they have electronic notepads and a stylus instead of a clipboard and pen, a few taps here and there, a few key strokes and presto-change-o your prescription is already sent to the pharmacy, your diagnosis and instructions have been printed out for you! But at least they don’t have to chase me around the doctor’s office any more, they’re all younger than me and can catch me pretty quick and besides, they may accidentally stick me with that two foot needle in places I would not like!

ALL needles, no matter what size they really are, become two foot long when they start coming towards you pointing them at your body! [/ezcol_1half]

Since I’ve been seeing this doctor I’ve been drained of about 6 gallons of blood, and been X-rayed enough times I should be able to see right through my skin at will! During this last adventure to the bloodsucker’s lab, I’m sitting in a waiting area waiting for my turn to have sound waves bounced through my neck and on the door there’s a sign that says; “Please advise us if you are pregnant or not”, so to be sure nothing weird was going to happen to me I did!

When they were done with the neck sonar, and I was glad they didn’t find any schools of fish swimming around in there, I was waiting for my turn for more X-rays and I hear all these weird mad scientist sounds coming from the X-ray room! Whirling and churning, buzzing and zapping, banging and clanging, and I started to form a picture in my deep-cavernous-mind of me lying on a big machine being held down by force fields and something goes wrong and a laser turns on by mistake and zaps right through my skull causing lightning bolts so shoot out of my head and feet and I hear someone say “OOOPS!”

As I’m trying to convince myself that it’s just my imagination, the X-ray door opens and they wheel the last guy out on a gurney and I hear; “NEXT!”

“AAAAAAHHHH!”

~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com