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[ezcol_1half]
In a previous article about “Air Cussing” you saw just one small example of my experiences in the “Air Cussing Zone”, I learned that you might not even be aware that you’re in an “Air Cussing Zone” until the act of Air Cussing has taken place. And other times you will enter the “Air Cussing Zone” on purpose, sometimes happily and other times… not so happily. Let’s explore this a little further, shall we? Not that you really have much choice in the matter, I’m going to explore the “Air Cussing Zone” a little further and as long as you keep reading so shall you! Relax, it’ll be fun, and it will make you at least 10% smarter, I’m not kidding either!
After the previous article on Air Cussing, I found that everybody air cusses… everybody! Air Cussing has been around for millions of years, oh yeah… I’m not kidding! I might not be able to prove that cavemen air cussed and since you can’t prove that they didn’t, I’m going to say that they did! Just think for a minute about a caveman’s daily life. He had to deal with all sorts of hideous things like stepping in dino-poop… up to his chin for one! And stepping into dino-poop up to his chin means he really stepped into a dino poop hole and he can’t deny it because all the other cave people know what it means to walk into the cave covered with dino-poop… up to the chin!
Tell me he didn’t Air Cuss… several times!! It might not have sounded like our modern day Air Cussing, probably more like; “UGtaHUMPF?” and probably some; “sah sAh SAAAH!” Even the modern day dog air cusses and it really doesn’t matter what language is used, it’s not about the words you use, it’s about the jolt to the cranial grey matter that instantly flashes your mind to the fact that you were NOT paying attention, got STUPID,[/ezcol_1half]
and you fell into a hole filled with POOP! Own it and carry on!
Makes the attempt on my life by one of those Frosty The Snow Man blowup yard monster not seem so bad; it’s been a couple of years since that hideous adventure, but some yard crap junkie didn’t tie down his Frosty The Snowman blow up doll and a fall breeze freed the yard crap monster to seek me out and try to kill me!
Yeah I was driving down the road on a nice breezy fall day when I noticed something in the road ahead and it was moving toward me at a disturbing velocity! “What the…?” I said as I tried to veer off to the left to get out of its way but it maneuvered back into my path so I swerved to the right and it still honed in on me like a guided missile!
Out of places to go I had to slam on the brakes and then Frosty hit and blurted out a sound that sounded like a giant whoopee cushion and laid itself on my hood with his big black evil eyes staring right at me! It was a very frightening experience!
I left Frosty all shriveled up like a giant white prune in the ditch, and yes there may be some truth to the rumor that I stoned him several times with some road side boulders! Hey I had to make sure he didn’t try to follow me! I still have nightmares of that day!
Frosty or Dino-Poop what’s the difference? You’re still gonna air-cuss!
~ Snarp