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I really need a friggen vacation and I'm not kidding either!
Taking a trip can be fun but that isn’t the same as taking a vacation. It’s been so long since I had a vacation that I don’t even remember what one is! Ok… so that’s not saying much since I don’t remember what I had for breakfast or if I even had breakfast but hey… it’s not easy being me!
Umm… please don’t try to be me though, I don’t want to be held responsible for your head exploding, especially at the dinner table, it would really destroy everyone’s appetite! Not to mention that everyone who was sprayed with your exploding grey matter or found a hunk of skin with your eyebrow still attached to it in their soup would blame me for it and I don’t need the guilt please and thank you! That would give me emotional baggage that I don’t need! Hahaha!
Hmm… unless I was going on a guilt trip that is, which is absolutely nothing like a vacation or a road trip, well unless they were via the highway through HELL! Sheesh guilt trips really suck and I know you’ve been on at least one because we’re surrounded by ‘Guilt Trip Travel Agents’, better known as ‘Guilt Trippers’!
Mom’s rank at the top of the list for ‘Guilt Trippers’ too and Mumsie was the queen of guilt trippers when she was alive, my god that woman could send me packing and I didn’t even know it was happening until it was all over and I felt like about 5 inches tall! She could reduce the petrified redwood forest[/ezcol_1half]
into sawdust in a matter of minutes with her guilt tripper abilities! No matter how long you try to hold out sooner or later mom’s will win the guilt trip battle, you will concede and pack your bags and head on down the guilt trip highway!
I'll bet that’s why mothers always insist on meeting the girlfriend, to give them pointers on how to trip you up real good in case you get married! Yeah that would explain how the wives get so good at guilt trippin too, of course they had their basic guilt trippin training with their own mothers! I don’t think I had one girlfriend that didn’t send me on a guilt trip regularly, sort of a lot like an emotional bowel movement, when they're done with you you’ll feel like shit!
Judges, teachers, kids, dogs, preachers, cops, strippers and librarians all can send you on a guilt trip too! “It’s all your fault”, “You did this”, Shame on you”, “I don’t care, I blame you”, “Go to your room”, “It’s all your fault”, “You're guilty”, GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!
AAAAHHHH!
And if you get sent on a guilt trip by more than one ‘guilt tripper’ at a time you’ll lose your mind and say something stupid like “I did NOT do it” or “It’s NOT my fault”, and all that does is start the whole process all over again keeping you on a guilt trip!
My god it’s a friggen conspiracy!!!
~Snarp ~ www.snarpfarkle.com