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This article was somewhat sane as of the approximate time it was written, which does not guarantee that it will be somewhat sane at the approximate time you start reading it. That's not in any way to imply that YOU were somewhat sane as of the approximate time this article was written, nor is there any guarantee that you could actually remain somewhat sane, if you really were, when you start reading it or after you have read it!
There are so many stupid things in the world today, and they can make an already stupid day feel even stupider! I don’t consider myself a stupid person; however I have done stupid things, usually when having a stupid day but sometimes it’s just fun to be stupid and I’ll do so because… well because I can! However there are days when I’m not trying to be stupid that stupid things seem to happen to me and catch me off guard!
Let’s explore some of those stupid things!
The safety foil cap that is installed on the peanut butter jar, under the lid, is stupid! No matter how careful you try to remove it without leaving ripped paper on the rim of the jar… you fail! This is unacceptable!
The bulk plastic cereal bags that have “Tear Here” instructions on the perforated tear off strip are also stupid! Every once in a while they actually work, other times they can turn an ordinary day into a stupid day when you grab the tab, pull and the stupid bag rips down the stupid middle spilling its precious cargo all over the counter and floor! You fumble around trying to stop the flow of the stupid three pounds of stupid cereal or at least try keeping it on the stupid counter to avoid that stupid “CRUNCH” sound of stupid pulverized cereal under your stupid socks!
I hate it when that happens![/ezcol_1half]
Winter is stupid!
We still look to a stupid groundhog, a stupid stinking worthless friggen rodent, which has absolutely no value to mankind whatsoever, to predict how long our stupid winters will last! Hey, I know what we should do! We should give the stupid rodent a stupid name! Yeah, we could call him Stupid Putzabully Bill, and every year let’s have a Stupid Putzabully Bill parade! We could sell stupid people Stupid Putzabully Bill cheese corn!
Groundhogs are stupid!
Automobiles are stupid too! They don’t break down in the middle of summer, oh no… they wait till after the stupid rodent declares that stupid winter will last until the middle of stupid April! Then, and only then, they decide to get stupid and either not start, stop running, stop heating, stop stopping, get a stupid flat tire, or slide into a stupid snow bank which makes you feel stupider because now you have to call a stupid tow truck to pull you out of the stupid snow bank!
A perfectly normal day can be made stupid just because some stupid rodent named Stupid Putzabully Bill told stupid winter to just keep on dumping stupid snow and keep dropping the stupid temperature to freeze us stupid!
I think we should just kill and eat the damn groundhog, stupid rodent!!!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com