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My last article titled, “Things Are Stupid”, barely scratched the surface of the many, many stupid things that creep around my not quite so n-n-n-n-normal life. Therefore I decided to add a few more stupid things to the list for your reading enjoyment!
Liquid hand soap is stupid; it slides right off my hands before I can lather it up! I’m guessing that the soap companies have gotten greedy and added some sort of stupid Teflon thickener to their stupid formulas so that after I get my hands wet, the stupid squirt of soap will just slide off them into the stupid sink, thus causing me to use more stupid soap! What the hell!!
So I did some stupid experiments at ‘Snarp Labs’ to find a cure for the stupid ‘Slippery Soap’! The basics are that soap needs water to start the foaming process, but it will slip off wet hands!
After quite a few stupid attempts, I was able to wash my hands with the stupid ‘Slippery Soap’ by only getting one hand wet first, work the squirt of stupid soap to coat my hands, quickly run them under the faucet to add a little more water and only then able to lather up and solve the stupid ‘Slippery Soap’ dilemma!
Food is stupid but bacon is not! Since all kinds of crap is put into our stupid food to begin with, why not put something in there to make it cook right, taste right and not stupid burn or turn to stupid rubber? Bacon is the only exception; it doesn’t matter if you burn it or turn it to rubber, it’s still edible and still tastes like bacon!
Hair is stupid; after a certain age it forgets that it is supposed to grow on your head and starts to grow[/ezcol_1half] in some very stupid places like on ears, backs and noses and some other places I’m not allowed to mention here! Stupid nostril hair growth accelerates after a certain stupid age too! I swear after an hour of clipping, mowing or yanking those stupid suckers out, they come back flapping in the stupid wind with every stupid breath!
Credit cards are stupid and they should be outlawed! They are not designed to make your life easier; they are designed to make credit card companies rich, cut them up and throw them away, don’t be stupid!
Shoestrings are stupid; why is it that in the 80’s movies, ‘Back To The Future’, Marty McFly had auto-lacing-shoes but here in the twenty first century we still do not? Our stupid shoes still can’t tie themselves! We have smart phones but stupid shoes; I think some ‘stupid shoe grant money’ needs to be donated to the ‘Snarp Labs’ to study this problem because our shoes are still stupid and make it very difficult for old people and fat bellied people to tie their stupid shoes!
Clowns are creepy stupid! I just don’t know what else to say about them, what purpose is there in this world for such a thing? Fun? The whole stupid concept just stupid creeps me out; they need to go away… far, far away!
~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com