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[ezcol_1half]
For those of you that don’t know this yet… I'm an alien! Don’t believe me? That’s because you haven’t been in a conversation with me yet! Soon after you'll say what everyone else has said; “There’s something wrong with you!”… Uh no not that! “You're very odd, you're way out there!” I've been told that so many times that I finally figured that I must be from Pluto since it’s the farthest planet and the only one with an odd orbit unlike any other planet!
Mumsie used to tell me, “You’re just like your father!” and well Pops is way out there and I've always guessed that he was an alien, just have a conversation with him, even now that he’s 90, and you'll be convinced that he’s way out there too! Pops taught me everything I know, well not EVERYTHING, he didn’t teach me how to turn s-s-s-s-sixty!
Turning s-s-s-s-sixty does some strange things to you… I'm not kidding!!! I've been looking back at my… ha-ha-ha life in search of that age old question… “What the…?” Just fill in the blank with your favorite censored expletive!
How does one cope with being labeled a mentally challenged alien twelve year old while trapped in a s-s-s-sixty year old Geezer in Training’s body? Sheesh it was hard enough to cope being labeled a mentally challenged alien twelve year old while in a twelve year olds body!
Hell back then I just wanted to be a real boy… like Pinocchio hahaha! But every cricket I'd catch wouldn’t talk to me at all, let alone in English, no matter how many times I poked at them with a tooth pick and none of them sang, wore clothes or carried an umbrella! What the…?
It’s not easy being me, and I'm really glad you're not, you’re planet is NUTS! [/ezcol_1half]
And poo-poo to those stuffed shirts that claim Pluto is no longer classified as a planet, I’m living proof and you can't get rid of me that easy hahaha! I've met some earthlings that are probably from Pluto too though; they just don’t know it yet!
In preparation for writing this article, I turned to my mega list of childhood mentors for some insight like Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, Daffy Duck, Woody Woodpecker, The Flintstones, Pink Panther and The Jetsons just to name a few, and I decided to watch a few episodes of… the Jetsons! Oh yeah and I found out that I was mentioned in one of the episodes!
Elroy was talking to me on his intergalactic ham radio, I'm not kidding either! He mentioned my home planet with its odd orbit and then asked how things were in Plutonia, um… that’s like Cleveland here! Whoohoo! I feel really special now! Then his dad made him go to bed before I could answer! What the…? Damn it George!
It’s really kind cool though to see how much technology that we now have that appeared in the Jetsons show before they were invented, like flat screen TVs’, video phones, microwave type ovens and mp3 players! Of course we’re way behind in having robot maids and anti gravity cars damn it and I want one of each right now! Especially an anti gravity car, my van’s making weird noises like one but it don’t fly! Although it might soon, my front wheels sound like they're ready to fall off!
“Elroy… are you there?” “CLICK-CLICK” “Hello…? Elroy? talk to me boy!”
~Snarp