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Twas the night before Thanksmas, when all through the Patch, not a Geezer was stirring, not even to scratch; Their peed socks were hanging on wheelchairs with care, in hopes that St. Farkle soon would be there; the Geezers were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of real food danced in their heads!
Dreaming of nurse aids swimming in booze, Pops settled in for a long winter's snooze, when all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, Pops tried to see what was the matter, too far from the window he lay like a slug, it could be a rude stripper or maybe a thug!
With a creak and a crack and a pain in his back, out the window he looked at moonlight on snow, then a voice he heard say “On with the show!” Then what to his amazement should come into view, but a red stretched limo all covered in goo, with an odd little driver, so shiny he sparkled, he knew at that moment it must be St. Farkle.
More rapid than eagles his curse words they came, as he whistled at eight dancing girls and called them by name; "Now FRIGGEN DASHER now FRIGGEN DANCER now FRIGGEN PRANCER and FRIGGEN VIXEN! On FRIGGEN COMET on FRIGGEN CUPID on FRIGGEN DONDER and FRIGGEN BLITZEN, to the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, now dance away, dance away, dance away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle they mount to the sky, so on to the Geezer Patch they danced in the goo, in front of the limo and St. Farkle too!
And then in a twinkling Pops heard on the roof, the prancing and dancing of each little hoof.[/ezcol_1half]
Then he heard a strange noise, and was turning around, when down the stink pipe St. Farkle abound.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ass grease and soot; with a bundle of Depends that hung on his shoulder, he looked like a vagrant Pops thought he’d be older.
His eyes, how they twinkled, his ass crack was showing, his cheeks seemed rosy, and his nostrils were glowing! He had an odd stare and a little round belly that shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly. His mouth was full of a stink-ass cigar, and the drool on his chin was like oil from a car, and the smoke from it encircled Pops’ geezer head, he thought for sure that he soon would be dead;
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly ole fellow, Pops gasped when he saw him all stinking and yellowed; a wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave Pops to know he had something to dread!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, filling all the peed socks with old cookies and dirt; and sticking his finger inside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the stink pipe he goes!
He sprang to his limo, to his girls gave a wink, and away he went like the goo in the sink! But Pops heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight;
"MERRY FRIGGEN THANKSMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A FRIGGEN GOOD NIGHT!"
~Snarp