Ever since researching some articles online about stupid stuff for some inspiration, I’ve been thinking, thinking of going for some counseling and attending TA meetings. Some guy named Bill wrote an article about being a “Recovering Thinker” and I think Thinker's Anonymous might be just the thing I need!
Sometimes I get so immersed in thought that I can’t think straight and we all know what thinking crooked can do to a person… make him write about stupid stuff!
I can’t say that I’ll ever really stop thinking though; after all I’ve been doing it ever since the whole womb embryo thing. Obviously I don’t remember all my embryonic thoughts but I do remember one thought as an embryo…
“GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!”
The second embryonic thought I can remember was after waiting nine months to grow limbs and lungs and stuff so I could start kicking and making mummy dearest really uncomfortable, I grew fingernails and I was able to rip open my watery prison and squeeze out into the real world only to be hung upside down and smacked on the ass by a masked man! What the…?
Had I known then what was to become of thinkers in the twenty first century I may have chosen a different path to follow, like becoming a politician, meteorologist or a court appointed lawyer; they don’t have to think or can be wrong all the time and still get paid!
Whatever, by the time I was old enough to start school I was well on my way to becoming a ‘Closet Thinker’. I had to sneak around and hide to think for myself more and more each day! I soon realized I was more than just an ordinary thinker, I was thinking for myself all the time.
I was fast becoming a heavy Thinkaholic, and with [/ezcol_1half]
that I eventually came down with the Thinking Disease, ‘Thinkeritus’!
Thinkeritus sufferers, as you may know, tend to think for themselves which leads to… ‘Asking Questions’. This is often misinterpreted as being obstinate or noncompliant, and so mistreatment of the by trying to get them to stop thinking for themselves and asking questions usually results in them becoming… well obstinate and noncompliant!
A Thinkaholic cannot just sit idly by and let some ‘ASSBAG’ tell them that it doesn’t matter WHY just do it anyways; this just causes the Thinkeritus sufferer to become irritated because it gives him MORE to think about!
For instance, when as a Thinkaholic I would be caught ‘thinking on the job’, my boss would call me off to the side and say, “Snarp, your thinking on the job has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job and asking questions, I'll have to let you go." This, as you can imagine gave me even more to think about!
Even though I knew that thinking while working isn't allowed, I couldn't stop myself if I wanted to, I’m a Thinkaholic, I’m addicted, I admit it!
When my status as an intense thinker became more obvious, and I ran out of closets to think for myself in, I began to think for myself in the open, and because one thought always leads to another, I am what I am today: a major Thinkaholic!
So I can’t wait for the day when I can walk into that door standing tall and say, “Hi… my name is Snarp… Snarp Farkle and I am a Thinkaholic and I suffer from type 2 Thinkeritus…. I think!”